Never Again
By Gumnut
2001

Spock was lecturing his Romulan students when the link flared into existence.

“Surak’s follower’s believed that-“

A flame he thought he had forgotten seared through his mind followed by a sense of un-utterable joy.

“T’hy’la!”

He sensed he had spoken aloud and he vaguely sensed the concern on the faces of his students, but he did not care. Nor did he care for the smile that appeared on his face.

His T’hy’la’s prescence was once more in his mind. He leapt up, his heart beating wildly. He must get to him, must find him. Then his logic kicked in.

Jim was dead. How? He searched his thoughts for answers and found none. He felt for the newly reformed link. It was true. It was Jim. But how? Jim Kirk was the only answer. He almost laughed out loud.

He excused himself from the class and hurried to make arrangements. He would be back, but first he must locate.

He sent a tentative thought towards the link, it was answered, distractedly, but with no less joy than with that which it was sent. Kirk was obviously busy. Spock headed for his shuttle.

Eighty-four point three years ago, Spock had once again been lecturing a class at Starfleet Academy when his bond to Jim Kirk had been abruptly severed. He collapsed and remained unconscious for three days. McCoy, who had been called in as his personal physician had been unable to wake him or find a reason for his collapse – until he received the news from Scotty. Jim Kirk had died aboard the Enterprise, saving the ship, saving them all. All, but himself.

McCoy called in a Vulcan healer and Spock’s long recovery was begun.

Spock knew there was no rationale behind his behaviour, but he had to get to Kirk. Had to, before, in case- no, he must never be alone again. Spock had not been with Kirk when he died (?) and had never forgiven himself for that. He knew how Jim thought about being alone. Yet when Kirk had asked him to join him, he had been too busy. If Spock had been there, it would have been different, he knew.

The link fluttered, Spock gasped, stumbling against the shuttle. He felt a dizzying spin, a flash of pain.

The link was still there, thready. Spock felt a sudden urgency, a desperation.

“Jim! Jim!”

A faint answer, then the link began to fade and Spock’s soul with it. Not again, he couldn’t go through this again.

“Jim, please…”

But it was no use. He felt Kirk’s last second as a flash of astonishment and then he was gone again.

And this time, Spock went with him.

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