The Dare
By Gumnut
23 Jun 2004

“I dare ya.”

“Michael, this is ridiculous.”

“You are just trying to get out of a challenge.”

“Michael, really.”

“Kitt, c’mon, I dare ya.”

“For what purpose?”

There was a pause. “A bet.”

“Interesting. And what exactly would you wager?”

Another pause. “Music. You win and I’ll listen to your choice for the next week, I win, you listen to mine.”

“Hmm, no music videos allowed.”

“Aww, Kitt, c’mon I love those videos.”

“I am well aware of that, however, MY music has no such accoutrements, and we must be fair.”

“Hmph. Well, okay. But first you gotta do it.”

“And what are you going to do in the meantime?”

“Watch.”

“Some have it easy.”

“What do you mean? You were the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“I did not suggest it. I merely said it was possible.”

“Well, now you have to put your money where your mouth is.”

“I have neither.”

“Stop stalling, Kitt. Now do you want me in or out?”

“In I should think. The smell will not be pleasant.”

“How considerate of you.” Pause. “Well, c’mon, what you waiting for?”

“Bonnie will not approve.”

“Bonnie never approves. Let’s go.”

Sigh.

-------------------

Bonnie had just finished up on some calculations involving extending the range of Kitt’s laser, and had come down to the garage in search of the AI, when the sound of screeching tyres echoed across the property. Starting towards the awful sound, she saw a cloud of smoke billowing up above the trees in the direction of the test track.

What the? Oh, god.

Kitt?

She broke into a run and dashed across the lawn and down the drive, terrified something had gone horribly wrong.

The test track was drenched in acrid smoke. The smell of burning rubber brought tears to her eyes.

Intermittently a black prow or the rear end of the Trans Am appeared out of the cloud, only to retreat, turning, spinning. What the hell had gone wrong? Had Kitt experienced a malfunction?

“Kitt!”

Numerous other spectators appeared at the edge of the track, all looking almost as shocked as she felt.

There was nothing she could do while the car was in motion, but if he didn’t stop soon, she would run back to the semi and interrupt his control of the car.

God damnit, what had gone wrong?

And then suddenly he did stop, the Trans Am idly rolling to the side of the track.

The smoke began to drift away.

She stared at Kitt, and came face to face with Michael grinning madly through the windshield. What the hell?

He fingered a switch. “Hi, Bonnie.” He called out merrily.

“Michael, what the hell are you doing?”

He didn’t answer, an impish grin on his face. “Boosting Kitt’s confidence.”

“Is that what it’s called? I thought it was a dare? One that I won, incidentally. Now pay up.” Kitt sounded triumphant.

Bonnie had had enough. She stormed over to the car and glared through the driver’s side window. “Michael, either you tell me what you are doing, or I’ll ground both of you for the next month.”

His smile faltered, and the window suddenly wound down. “You can’t do that.”

“You want to dare me?”

He gulped.

“Kitt and I were having a little discussion. We have been testing the agility of his navigation program.”

“Testing?” She put extra wattage into her glare.

It worked.

“Okay, okay, we were mucking around on the test track. We’ve been here all day waiting for Kitt’s new tyres to arrive. We were bored, what can I say?”

“Keep talking.”

Kitt chose that moment to interject. “It is my fault, Bonnie.”

She spared a glare for the flickering voice modulator. “That I seriously doubt.” The guilt on Michael’s face was almost comical, and she found her anger dissipating, a small smile forcing itself to her lips.

Unfortunately, he noticed and his reckless grin started to crawl back on to his face.

She held up a hand. “What exactly were you attempting to do?”

The smile faltered.

Kitt spoke up. “As Michael said, we were testing the agility of my navigation program.” A pause. “And the resilience of my tyres. It did seem pertinent since these need replacing in any case.” There was little guilt in the AI’s matter of fact tone.

“And exactly how did you plan to do that?”

“It was Michael’s idea.”

“It was not!”

“It was your story.”

“You were the one who said you could do better.”

“You dared me.”

“You took the dare.”

“You bribed me.”

“Bribed, how?”

“The tantalizing concept of not having to listen to that racket you call music for an entire week was enough to send me over the edge.”

“You jumped!”

“It was still your idea.”

Bonnie stuck two fingers in her mouth and let rip with a whistle that echoed across the bitumen. Both man and AI suddenly shut up, and she had the attention of not only them, but every person within a mile’s radius.

She glared at them. “What were you attempting to do?”

Kitt’s voice was calm and quiet. “Not attempting, accomplishing. Have a look, Bonnie, I think it is quite elegant myself.”

Michael pointed her towards the centre of the test track where the thick smoke had finally cleared. There were black marks all over the pavement. She wandered over.

Oh, for the love of…sigh. She was surrounded by children.

Scrawled in elegant black rubber cursive in letters several feet high…..

KITT & MK
were here
1986

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FIN.