Cause and Effect
An aimless scribble
By Gumnut
10 Aug 2004

“It was your fault.”

“Was not.”

“Was too”

“Was not.”

“Michael, denial in this case is entirely fruitless. I have it on video tape.”

“Oh, really, well let’s see it then.”

“Not until you clean up this mess.”

“What are you, my mother?”

“Some times I wonder.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“That I pity the poor woman who is.”

“Now, that is just a low blow, Kitt. What would your mother say if she heard you speaking like that?”

“She’d agree with him.”

“Oh, hi, Bonnie, how are you today?”

“Michael, how the hell did this happen? Look at him!”

“It wasn’t my fault!”

“Was too.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.”

“Was not!”

“Did you or did you not say it was a shortcut?”

“I-“

“Did you or did you not order me onto the footpath?”

“But-“

“Did I or did I not warn you about the ladder?”

“Yes, b-“

“Michael, it is simple. You were the cause and this is the effect.”

“Well, I had no choice!”

“Irrelevant. You made the decision, therefore it is your fault.”

“You know, you can be a real pain in the-“

“Michael!”

“Bonnie, it was just an accident, I swear.”

“I’m sure it was, but regardless of whose fault it is, the mess still has to be cleaned up. Kitt can not go around looking like this.”

“Why not? I think it suits him.”

“Michael?”

“Yes, I think we’ll keep him this way. Might improve his disposition.”

“Michael.”

“Definitely an improvement I think. Though we might have to change his name to match. Hmm, how about Kitty? Got anything we can tack on the end that starts with a ‘Y’?”

“Michael!”

“Of course, then we’d have to up the pitch of his voice box, perhaps make it more feminine to match the name.”

“MICHAEL!!”

“Yes, Kitt?”

Pause.

“Kitt?”

“While I am sure you appreciate the fact that my present condition is directly a result of your decision, I would like to recognise the fact that you had no choice in the matter and in the process of making that decision you saved several lives, including possibly your own, for which I am ever grateful.”

“Why, thank you Kitt.”

Pause.

“Well, aren’t you going to clean me up?”

“I was just thinking that I could grow used to this.”

“Michael, there is no way on earth I am going to drive around dripping PINK PAINT!”

“It was fate, partner. You, me, a bucket, and a ladder.”

“Michael! Michael? Michael, come back here. Please? Michael!”

-------------------
FIN.