Inspiration point – I want to write music
I’ve known for a long time that I don’t see the world quite the same way as most people. I’ve been known to be weird, odd, out of step, Aquarian, or just plain strange. I’m good at getting the wrong end of the stick in a conversation, and in group learning, my answers are always off centre of the norm. But it is my way of viewing the world that makes me the artist I am. So here I am going to blatantly share some of my points of inspiration, some of those personal moments that just spark for me and make me want to create. And perhaps I can share that spark, too.
I wanted to start this series tonight, but to be honest, it is past 11pm and I was up beyond 1am this morning, so I’m exhausted. Instead, you get something I wrote some time ago. My main art at the time was writing, but what I’ve expressed here is the same for some of my visual art. Sometimes, my skills are just not enough.
Sometimes I just want to write music.
I don’t sing or play an instrument. Well, I do sing, though nails on a blackboard might be a little more pleasant. But skill-wise, I know very little about real music making.
However this doesn’t stop me from wanting to write it.
I don’t mean notes or weird squiggles. I don’t mean songs….well, maybe I do mean songs, but it doesn’t really matter, because whatever I write will not have the power or the emotion I would like to generate.
Sometimes the written word just isn’t enough.
Sometimes the moment is caught by sensation. Wind in your hair on a blustery day. The touch of sunlight on your forehead the moment it appears over your house early in the morning. Misty rain on your cheeks as you look up into a grey sky, eyelashes blinking away moisture. The feeling of pure joy that bubbles up from somewhere in your chest when you realise someone you love has done something ever so special just for you.
The inexplicable tumble of emotions that clog your throat at the end of a very long day. Too cluttered, too disorganised, with a mind too tired to straighten them out into coherent sentences that mean what you want to say.
It is hard to work out how to say something you can’t define yourself.
Language has its limits.
And sometimes I just wish I could write music.